one night with the King

This past weekend I went away with my lover. I went on a trip to the International Prayer and Fasting Center in High Point, NC as apart of a "program" in my church called the "encounter." because an experience with God can easily be forgotten but an encounter will last forever.

I met God in that place and there is really no other way for me to describe it then to say you have to go, even if you think youre free now you have to go. I am beyond free to worship at this point in my life. dont get it twisted there is still stuff we need to work on (God and I) but I trust Him to handle it and to help me crucify my flesh daily lest I try to take back control.

GO. be open. be free

This shall be called and house of worship. this shall be called a place of praise, this shall be called the place of bethel. The place where God lives

I shall be called and house of worship. I shall be called a place of praise, I shall be called the place of bethel. The place where God lives.

to say or not to say

recently I had a series of conversations that made me think-" Oh my dear [insert race here] friend, please be happy Im the Black person you're saying this too so I can warn you not to say it to anyone else."

some of which are listed below and I ask that you add as you think of any things to say or not to say to Black people in attempt to help non-minorities and really anyone communicate with Black people, I have a strong feeling these will work for any race for any other race but we will see how it unfolds.

Dont

• talk about your other Black friend(s)

• talk about how the Tyler Perry Movie really opened your eyes.

• how hard your boss is on you

• how much you like hip hop- unless you can actually have a legit      

conversation...actually unless I bring it up dont do it at all. dont assume I listen to hip hop

• how close you were to your caretaker-or someone who was paid to be your friend
• academic culture courses you took in college, for example african drumming, history of the slave south, etc. unless we went to the same school
• your ludacris cd
• that you voted for Obama
• a post racial society
• a trip to Africa you want to take someday, unless you are somehow prompted and know what country you want to go to
• how you grew up on the cosby show
• how you say the n-word around your white friends and you dont mean it in a deragatory way

Do

• Talk about angela bassets arms in "whats love got to do with it"
• Five Heart Beats, Temptations, Micheal Jackson, etc
• American Dream
• Any of the donts that you are knowlegable in, truely knowlegable in, after being prompted by the person youre talking to...except for the last one. thats never okay.

im probably the only one that feels this way but i enjoy the fact that no one reads this ha-ha. today, i pooped with strangers. ha. thats a funny statement

Testing out the txt blog. today i realized when i get overemotional i cry. positive or negative-too much brings tears leading to failed attempts at communcation

Things I wish I wouldve said.

i want to write a blog devoted to things i wish i had said...or maybe i'll just add a label to this one because i dont want to be a crazy blog lady who's old and alone with her 15 blogs to keep her company- but i digress.

i was at the bookstore recently-not reading books but instead watching a movie on my laptop. im a rebel. anyhoo at this particular book store there are no plugs in convenient places there is one in the coffee shop that doesnt work and several spread sporadically along the walls and columns in walkways. i found a nook to sit in and not be a fire hazard.

while im talking about having my laptop plugged in though, this heffa at the laundry mat the other day made me unplug the laptop- which i was using- saying "this is no charge this laundry" which i took her broken english to mean "this isnt a charging station its for laundry"...pissed me off- i wont be going back there...but again i digress.

back at the book store a group of girls looking for a place to study-we'll call them a study group- couldnt find a plug, they came to mine, only i took the only non fire hazardy location so they sat with their cords strewn across a main walkway quietly studying in their group until a grumpy customer walked by and said something to the effect of-"that cant be there, some one will trip...we dont have to supply plugs...i'll get a manger" the latter was stated when the girls basically blew her off.

I figure my movies over, its getting cold anyway let me just move. I gave them my spot.

as she went to get the manager however, one of the girls said "you dont have to supply your mouth"

i chuckled. it was funny
but all of this made me think of "things i would have said"

things i would have said if you had given me three more minutes to reflect upon the words and gestures that just flowed from you in my direction

things i would have said if you werent my boss or in some sort of authoritative position over me

things i would have said if i could have had 4 seconds of silence to think of a clever retort

things i would have said if i didnt mind getting kicked out

things i would have said if Jesus weren't holdin me

COME BACK HERE I JUST THOUGHT OF SOMETHING TO SAY

feel free, to leave rants and comments and things you would have said

man voice

i wrote this banging poem about a man voice, and how the depth reaches to the depths of the soul and how one can be felt with all senses and then flipped to the womans man voice first thing in the morning, "i saed good morning to ya..."

but i deleted it

aaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh

B.O.M.B.

Today at work I had a conversation about masterbation.

well it started out about a conversation about porn (typical table talk)
then it turned into,
"I dont need porn because I have my BOMB"
"BOMB?"
"Beat Off Memory Bank"
"I need to figure out a way to work that into my vocabulary, even though I dont masturbate"
"You dont what"
"masturbate"
"right, you dont what?"

The conversation proceeded to something like, you should..get this dildo...dont you get bored...it relieves stress...

so it got me thinking, is masturbation that common? the answer is 'yes' of course. but in a culture of purity rings, where waiting until marriage isnt necessarily common but is accepted...why is masturbation still the everyday? Why am I looked at as foreign if I choose not to do it?

theres nothing wrong with it, I just want to know what you think.