Notice me

I got straight A's and brought home straight D's
silently screaming, "notice me"
I threw up food I didnt even eat
silently screaming, "notice me"
I was in abusive relationship after abusive relationship
allowed myself to be beated mentally, emotionally, and physically
silently screaming, "notice me"
I had two kids and one STD
silently screaming, "notice me"
I searched for love and approval, all the while hating me
silently screaming, "notice me"
when I lacked, I gave others the power to form and shape my identity
whispering hoarsely, "notice me"
I ran after you planted on bended knee
whispering hoarsely, "notice me"
I churched, I tramped, shown and hid my lamp
whispering hoarsely, "notice me"
I fasted, prayed, and worked diligently
made plans, goals, and put God in the back seat
whispering hoarsely, "notice me"
I'm here now, God, standing firmly
yelling, screaming, shouting "God Please, Notice Me"
Run to me, Shelter me, Comfort me, and allow me to embrace Thee
Fully, wholly, purposefully with direction, with skill, and Your heart within me
No matter who I am, or where I might be its You LORD, You Lord, that I need to notice me.