Showing posts with label poetry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label poetry. Show all posts
1.19.2012
Im in the details
It seems recently you've wanted to know who I was
Who I am, and who I may someday be...
There's not a description I could give, a sentence I could use to sum me up. Not all of me.
I simply ask then that you watch, observe, search seek and simply find
Me
In the details
I'm in the details
The daily, inadequate, diminutive, minutiae that seems so small but holds more water than the mother's vases held oil
Even smaller, smaller still the acute, the microscopic and miniscule, slight and stunted, teensy tiny circumstantially common seemingly inconsequential
smaller
Smaller still
there
I'm right there
But so big and grandiose I can't be avoided or maneuvered
Right there. I'm in the details
I'm in the nuts and bolts, the technically sound specifications that keep your structure standing.
The meat and potatoes in your five course meal.
There
That's me
Medium rare but not too too pink
There.
In science I'm the element, engineering the component, music the staff, the eighteenth note the holds the rhythm that seems simply cacophonic on the surface but is oh so necessary to holding your ears captive
I'm the pauses in your sentence. The natural breathes you take when leaving a message, between your exhale and your inhale when you say your name
Right ...
There...
I'm the particular peculiarity that perceives such minor points
I'm your portion
The aphorism, the edict, pronouncement and opinion, the diction, the dictum, the decision, the paragraph and sentence but not the story. The summary that sums me up is the period that should probably be a comma but works as a semicolon. The parenthetical peice of the passage you might could.skip. but who's absence reduces the emphasis or depth of the entire statement (if you pick up what I'm putting down) like the song of your life, the nitty gritty, by you (feat. Me)
I'm the thing you say that goes without saying But you said anyway.
Just because
I'm there
I'm here
I'm in the details
Daily.
Waiting for you
to stop
Observe.search. seek.and simply find
Me
In the details
Who I am, and who I may someday be...
There's not a description I could give, a sentence I could use to sum me up. Not all of me.
I simply ask then that you watch, observe, search seek and simply find
Me
In the details
I'm in the details
The daily, inadequate, diminutive, minutiae that seems so small but holds more water than the mother's vases held oil
Even smaller, smaller still the acute, the microscopic and miniscule, slight and stunted, teensy tiny circumstantially common seemingly inconsequential
smaller
Smaller still
there
I'm right there
But so big and grandiose I can't be avoided or maneuvered
Right there. I'm in the details
I'm in the nuts and bolts, the technically sound specifications that keep your structure standing.
The meat and potatoes in your five course meal.
There
That's me
Medium rare but not too too pink
There.
In science I'm the element, engineering the component, music the staff, the eighteenth note the holds the rhythm that seems simply cacophonic on the surface but is oh so necessary to holding your ears captive
I'm the pauses in your sentence. The natural breathes you take when leaving a message, between your exhale and your inhale when you say your name
Right ...
There...
I'm the particular peculiarity that perceives such minor points
I'm your portion
The aphorism, the edict, pronouncement and opinion, the diction, the dictum, the decision, the paragraph and sentence but not the story. The summary that sums me up is the period that should probably be a comma but works as a semicolon. The parenthetical peice of the passage you might could.skip. but who's absence reduces the emphasis or depth of the entire statement (if you pick up what I'm putting down) like the song of your life, the nitty gritty, by you (feat. Me)
I'm the thing you say that goes without saying But you said anyway.
Just because
I'm there
I'm here
I'm in the details
Daily.
Waiting for you
to stop
Observe.search. seek.and simply find
Me
In the details
i miss you
I've gotta change the ring on my alarm, because every time I wake up I'm reminded how much I love you and the lights remind me you're not there.
I miss you like tides miss the shore like sponges turned dish miss the ocean floor like hood turned suburbia miss the corner store like fat kids love cake,
Wait that's wrong, that's how much I love you, like fat kids love cake, eat it, then can't have more.
I miss you.
I miss you like trees miss their leaves in fall. I'm cold.
I miss you like bears miss sleep in spring. I'm told.
I miss you like the sky misses the moon at noon like birds miss the south in June
Like people seem to miss Michael, gone to soon like butterflies miss their cocoon like vidal misses sassoon...I think...or something like that
Well like lions miss that baboon like that kid when I popped his balloon!
Wait that's wrong,that was taken from him...I mean like that kid when he LOST his balloon ...
I miss you.
I miss you like homeless miss there homes.
I'm heartless.
Like bees in search of nectar miss their combs.
No solace
Like sharks without clients miss their loans
No purpose.
Like teenagers on punishment miss their phones.
I'm silenced.
I miss you like fish miss their bones, wait that's wrong
That's how much I need you, like fish need their bones, get caught, and are de-boned...you know, for eating
they miss life really.
I miss you like a grown woman misses Barbie like shrimp miss the barbie
like an arrow in the quiver misses its bow like a loose ponytail misses its bow like knees miss each other when they bow like a violin requires a bow
Wait that's wrong, that's how much I require you like a violin requires it's bow...without you I'm a ukulele
I miss you like a princess misses her knight like a vampire misses night
Like the emperor misses his clothes like fresh air with the windows closed
like grandkids miss their grandfather's tales like pitbulls miss their tails
Like Israel missed the Presence like you miss my presents
Like nouns miss their do like grass misses the dew
In a neverending heatwave reaching heat cat 5 red warning high humidity high heat index. Just plain dry.
I miss you like sailors miss the sea like the blind want to see
Wait that's wrong, that's how much I want you, like the blind want to see and by some miracle get the ability then miss their heightened sense of smell.
I miss you like wars missed envoys like soldiers miss convoys like grown men miss toys like priests miss little--wait that's wrong
there's no fixing that one...
I didn't cry when I left physically but I cried when you left emotionally
I miss you
Like crazy
Even though you're still here
I miss you like tides miss the shore like sponges turned dish miss the ocean floor like hood turned suburbia miss the corner store like fat kids love cake,
Wait that's wrong, that's how much I love you, like fat kids love cake, eat it, then can't have more.
I miss you.
I miss you like trees miss their leaves in fall. I'm cold.
I miss you like bears miss sleep in spring. I'm told.
I miss you like the sky misses the moon at noon like birds miss the south in June
Like people seem to miss Michael, gone to soon like butterflies miss their cocoon like vidal misses sassoon...I think...or something like that
Well like lions miss that baboon like that kid when I popped his balloon!
Wait that's wrong,that was taken from him...I mean like that kid when he LOST his balloon ...
I miss you.
I miss you like homeless miss there homes.
I'm heartless.
Like bees in search of nectar miss their combs.
No solace
Like sharks without clients miss their loans
No purpose.
Like teenagers on punishment miss their phones.
I'm silenced.
I miss you like fish miss their bones, wait that's wrong
That's how much I need you, like fish need their bones, get caught, and are de-boned...you know, for eating
they miss life really.
I miss you like a grown woman misses Barbie like shrimp miss the barbie
like an arrow in the quiver misses its bow like a loose ponytail misses its bow like knees miss each other when they bow like a violin requires a bow
Wait that's wrong, that's how much I require you like a violin requires it's bow...without you I'm a ukulele
I miss you like a princess misses her knight like a vampire misses night
Like the emperor misses his clothes like fresh air with the windows closed
like grandkids miss their grandfather's tales like pitbulls miss their tails
Like Israel missed the Presence like you miss my presents
Like nouns miss their do like grass misses the dew
In a neverending heatwave reaching heat cat 5 red warning high humidity high heat index. Just plain dry.
I miss you like sailors miss the sea like the blind want to see
Wait that's wrong, that's how much I want you, like the blind want to see and by some miracle get the ability then miss their heightened sense of smell.
I miss you like wars missed envoys like soldiers miss convoys like grown men miss toys like priests miss little--wait that's wrong
there's no fixing that one...
I didn't cry when I left physically but I cried when you left emotionally
I miss you
Like crazy
Even though you're still here
recycle.reduce.reuse
"Losing the war"
My brain keeps trying to reason with my heart but my heart can't make logical sense of the argument, feeling attacked and berated evoking a bewildered and belligerent response of love and hate Drawing a thin line in the sand and declaring war on my mind.
Leaving me hopelessly...
in love...
with you...
Even though I tell myself you're gonna do it again you dont care or feel the same you're gonna hurt me more.
My brain thinks its won battles...
It hasn't...
And its far from winning any war...
Mindlessly reacting brainlessly acting on your every whim moving and shaking jumping higher than you've asked yet again. I know Better than to let myself be used but I feel like I love the idea of somehow being useful to you.
You're using me..YOU'RE using me...you're using ME...
::sigh:: i know...
but it's okay..
.just... please...
Please...don't throw me away...
My brain keeps trying to reason with my heart but my heart can't make logical sense of the argument, feeling attacked and berated evoking a bewildered and belligerent response of love and hate Drawing a thin line in the sand and declaring war on my mind.
Leaving me hopelessly...
in love...
with you...
Even though I tell myself you're gonna do it again you dont care or feel the same you're gonna hurt me more.
My brain thinks its won battles...
It hasn't...
And its far from winning any war...
Mindlessly reacting brainlessly acting on your every whim moving and shaking jumping higher than you've asked yet again. I know Better than to let myself be used but I feel like I love the idea of somehow being useful to you.
You're using me..YOU'RE using me...you're using ME...
::sigh:: i know...
but it's okay..
.just... please...
Please...don't throw me away...
10.31.2010
constipated
went and got a colonoscopy
looking for a pot of gold
been in the fire so long
the blue flames starting to get cold
"sh*t or get off the pot!"
actions all youve got to make it
but wondering how far I'll get
living my whole life constipated
pushing towards a goal with the whole world pushing back
building up the muscles in my legs and lower back
thought it would be quick
but now my time is so off track
trying to pass these fools through my system
not sure what youve got until theyre gone and you miss them
I knew they had to go cause the relationship was toxic
but each took a peice and now I aint really got sh*t
stuck on a stool unable to make a movement
trying to keep in dark, all thats hidden in the bowels
instead of solving the puzzle or spinning the wheel,
Im steady wasting money on vowels
If I cant push foward I gotta keep from going back
even if it means being stagnant, dead in my tracks
Aristotle once said, 'give me one firm spot to stand and I'll
change the world
move mountains
and rotate and reverse its orbit'
I mightve added to that for emphasis
youd've caught it if you were listenin
but Aristotle was standing
and I'm stuck here
sitting
paralyzed by options with the world passing me by
thought I had a good plan but its funny how time flies
you dont even really have to be havin fun
"sh*t or get off the pot!"
well neither one makes sense
because if I could push past this
I would
and walking away?
well thats just counterintuitive
a counter action- opposite to every action up to now
all that time, all that work
thats got me stuck here
with no worth
living a life thats constipated
actions all youve got so make it
even if its counter- its action
looking for a pot of gold
been in the fire so long
the blue flames starting to get cold
"sh*t or get off the pot!"
actions all youve got to make it
but wondering how far I'll get
living my whole life constipated
pushing towards a goal with the whole world pushing back
building up the muscles in my legs and lower back
thought it would be quick
but now my time is so off track
trying to pass these fools through my system
not sure what youve got until theyre gone and you miss them
I knew they had to go cause the relationship was toxic
but each took a peice and now I aint really got sh*t
stuck on a stool unable to make a movement
trying to keep in dark, all thats hidden in the bowels
instead of solving the puzzle or spinning the wheel,
Im steady wasting money on vowels
If I cant push foward I gotta keep from going back
even if it means being stagnant, dead in my tracks
Aristotle once said, 'give me one firm spot to stand and I'll
change the world
move mountains
and rotate and reverse its orbit'
I mightve added to that for emphasis
youd've caught it if you were listenin
but Aristotle was standing
and I'm stuck here
sitting
paralyzed by options with the world passing me by
thought I had a good plan but its funny how time flies
you dont even really have to be havin fun
"sh*t or get off the pot!"
well neither one makes sense
because if I could push past this
I would
and walking away?
well thats just counterintuitive
a counter action- opposite to every action up to now
all that time, all that work
thats got me stuck here
with no worth
living a life thats constipated
actions all youve got so make it
even if its counter- its action
9.23.2010
1.29.2010
...
waiting for the one to love me for me
continuously ready to bless me when I sneeze
his walk alone could make me fall down to my knees
for fear that one day he may walk away from me
looking for love in all the wrong places
in different men in many different faces
with each new man what i dont want i find
and now i know exactly what will be held in mine
looking for love whilst lis looking for me
looking for love whilst love is in front of me
i found my love once i tapped into His love in me
and I realized I wasnt actually loving previously
continuously ready to bless me when I sneeze
his walk alone could make me fall down to my knees
for fear that one day he may walk away from me
looking for love in all the wrong places
in different men in many different faces
with each new man what i dont want i find
and now i know exactly what will be held in mine
looking for love whilst lis looking for me
looking for love whilst love is in front of me
i found my love once i tapped into His love in me
and I realized I wasnt actually loving previously
Notice me
I got straight A's and brought home straight D's
silently screaming, "notice me"
I threw up food I didnt even eat
silently screaming, "notice me"
I was in abusive relationship after abusive relationship
allowed myself to be beated mentally, emotionally, and physically
silently screaming, "notice me"
I had two kids and one STD
silently screaming, "notice me"
I searched for love and approval, all the while hating me
silently screaming, "notice me"
when I lacked, I gave others the power to form and shape my identity
whispering hoarsely, "notice me"
I ran after you planted on bended knee
whispering hoarsely, "notice me"
I churched, I tramped, shown and hid my lamp
whispering hoarsely, "notice me"
I fasted, prayed, and worked diligently
made plans, goals, and put God in the back seat
whispering hoarsely, "notice me"
I'm here now, God, standing firmly
yelling, screaming, shouting "God Please, Notice Me"
Run to me, Shelter me, Comfort me, and allow me to embrace Thee
Fully, wholly, purposefully with direction, with skill, and Your heart within me
No matter who I am, or where I might be its You LORD, You Lord, that I need to notice me.
silently screaming, "notice me"
I threw up food I didnt even eat
silently screaming, "notice me"
I was in abusive relationship after abusive relationship
allowed myself to be beated mentally, emotionally, and physically
silently screaming, "notice me"
I had two kids and one STD
silently screaming, "notice me"
I searched for love and approval, all the while hating me
silently screaming, "notice me"
when I lacked, I gave others the power to form and shape my identity
whispering hoarsely, "notice me"
I ran after you planted on bended knee
whispering hoarsely, "notice me"
I churched, I tramped, shown and hid my lamp
whispering hoarsely, "notice me"
I fasted, prayed, and worked diligently
made plans, goals, and put God in the back seat
whispering hoarsely, "notice me"
I'm here now, God, standing firmly
yelling, screaming, shouting "God Please, Notice Me"
Run to me, Shelter me, Comfort me, and allow me to embrace Thee
Fully, wholly, purposefully with direction, with skill, and Your heart within me
No matter who I am, or where I might be its You LORD, You Lord, that I need to notice me.
title me
Im overwhelmed by how under whelming my days have become
feeling whelmed by the complacency and mundane passing of the hour
become uncomfortable in the comfortable and predictable nature of my schedule.
Im over being undertaken by time
and overtaken by age as my youth fleets continually along with the
drive and desire I once had.
The young dream dreams and Ive dreamt but my dreams have ceased to dream of the future and have now become mere memories of the past.
I dream of who I once was
hopeful for the hope I once had
dreaming of the dreams I once dreamt
viewing visions of a better me
but for right now THAT person
that successful person
that happy person
that content person
thats not me.
Im unsatisfied with the satisfaction meant to come with a schedule thats booked
because an agenda thats full of unsatisfactory and unfullfilling content is just that
unsatisfactory and unfilling
leaving me dissatisfied and empty
and continually longing for fulfillment
devoting myself fully to looking for a filling purpose
begging my Garmin for directions and destinations
crawling slow and steady to the fork in the road with no foreseable right way
I want to walk, I want to run, I want to stand up
but for and to what?
Garmin cant lead me if I dont have any place to go
A man who has found nothing worth dying for...?
hmm, well I want to live
feeling whelmed by the complacency and mundane passing of the hour
become uncomfortable in the comfortable and predictable nature of my schedule.
Im over being undertaken by time
and overtaken by age as my youth fleets continually along with the
drive and desire I once had.
The young dream dreams and Ive dreamt but my dreams have ceased to dream of the future and have now become mere memories of the past.
I dream of who I once was
hopeful for the hope I once had
dreaming of the dreams I once dreamt
viewing visions of a better me
but for right now THAT person
that successful person
that happy person
that content person
thats not me.
Im unsatisfied with the satisfaction meant to come with a schedule thats booked
because an agenda thats full of unsatisfactory and unfullfilling content is just that
unsatisfactory and unfilling
leaving me dissatisfied and empty
and continually longing for fulfillment
devoting myself fully to looking for a filling purpose
begging my Garmin for directions and destinations
crawling slow and steady to the fork in the road with no foreseable right way
I want to walk, I want to run, I want to stand up
but for and to what?
Garmin cant lead me if I dont have any place to go
A man who has found nothing worth dying for...?
hmm, well I want to live
3.02.2009
tomorrow is not today
Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow
Everything always happens tomorrow
Hope comes tomorrow, Joy comes tomorrow, Peace comes tomorrow, Deliverance comes tomorrow
As Sarafina says ::freedom is coming tomorrow::
But what if I don’t make it through today?
I know tomorrow will eventually come but what if I don’t make it to see the morning sun
I know ::tomorrow, tomorrow:: is only a day away
But it feels like today will never end
I’d love to live to see my tomorrow but it seems today is trying to kill me
Hunting me down like Bill
I know peace is right around the corner and joy is on the day after
But I can’t walk anymore and my knees are sore from crawling
I don’t know if I can make it to tomorrow Little Orphan Annie
So what do you want me to do about today?
Today, Today! Today? I feel like killing myself!
But life
Comes tomorrow, hope comes tomorrow
I’m hopeless- today
Today, Today Annie!
I need hope now, I need joy now, I need peace now
I need to be delivered now
Jesus, Jesus! I need You now!
:: I need you now, right now right now, I need you now! Not a second or another minute LORD. Can’t wait another day LORD, I need you right away::
2.23.2009
the heart you see
help me see
the heart You see
not the heart i think i have
or wish were within me
but the current heart
the carnal heart
the heart i'd never want the world to see
let me see
reveal to me
in the deepest moments of transparency
show me the heart You see within me.
this masquerade has begun to fool even me
and my perceived anointing
turned to cursed trickery
please show me
the ugly
the nasty
the flesh more than skin deep
it may be the devil but it may just be me
please, please, show me the heart You see
that i can yearn for Yours daily
yearn to serve with Christs humility
LORD, show me the heart You see
so they will no longer see me.
the heart You see
not the heart i think i have
or wish were within me
but the current heart
the carnal heart
the heart i'd never want the world to see
let me see
reveal to me
in the deepest moments of transparency
show me the heart You see within me.
this masquerade has begun to fool even me
and my perceived anointing
turned to cursed trickery
please show me
the ugly
the nasty
the flesh more than skin deep
it may be the devil but it may just be me
please, please, show me the heart You see
that i can yearn for Yours daily
yearn to serve with Christs humility
LORD, show me the heart You see
so they will no longer see me.
2.02.2009
20, movie sex, tin man
20
20 pack
1 last puff
Stress is too much to test
Pullin 8 to 5
9 to stay alive
Odds are 10 to 1
It’s only 12, days not even half way done
Lunch break. 13.15
It’s all I have to fill up my tank
2:16 I’m late
That’s 17 points on my name
4:18 time to go I can’t lose this job
But 5 cant come quick enough how can I beat traffic
Take 19th ave to B Street
Bypass the bridge,
It always takes like 20 mins to get across
20
6:20 finally home
One last puff before I go to sleep and start again tomorrow
___________________________
Movies make sex sexy
I want movie sex
Four minutes of time leading to a lifetime of satisfaction sex
Not bumping uglies, sweaty, grunty, painful, it’ll take much longer than four minutes
STD’s, crazies, emotionally binding and rarely physically satisfying sex
Not real life sex
But sexy movie sex
Four play sex
Happily ever after sex
Just sexy sex
Movie sex
________________________________
One day I will be so independent that I wont need your existence.
I wont need your money when im in lack
Or your arms when I fall
Ill be so independent I wont need your presence to verify me at all
I may be able to stand on my two feet or mold and sculpt with my very own hands
But for some reason I still need your affirmation to confirm my stance
One day Ill be so independent that I wont need you to validate me
I wont need the cunning ways you hate on me
You pretend that you care but you lie to entrap me
Its disgusting
Your crocodile tears have caused your cold heart to grow rusty
I can hear you creaking from a mile away
Turn around tin man its time for other prey
Because now I know im standing on my own two feet
And the only reason you should be here is to have your lips on mycheeks
20 pack
1 last puff
Stress is too much to test
Pullin 8 to 5
9 to stay alive
Odds are 10 to 1
It’s only 12, days not even half way done
Lunch break. 13.15
It’s all I have to fill up my tank
2:16 I’m late
That’s 17 points on my name
4:18 time to go I can’t lose this job
But 5 cant come quick enough how can I beat traffic
Take 19th ave to B Street
Bypass the bridge,
It always takes like 20 mins to get across
20
6:20 finally home
One last puff before I go to sleep and start again tomorrow
___________________________
Movies make sex sexy
I want movie sex
Four minutes of time leading to a lifetime of satisfaction sex
Not bumping uglies, sweaty, grunty, painful, it’ll take much longer than four minutes
STD’s, crazies, emotionally binding and rarely physically satisfying sex
Not real life sex
But sexy movie sex
Four play sex
Happily ever after sex
Just sexy sex
Movie sex
________________________________
One day I will be so independent that I wont need your existence.
I wont need your money when im in lack
Or your arms when I fall
Ill be so independent I wont need your presence to verify me at all
I may be able to stand on my two feet or mold and sculpt with my very own hands
But for some reason I still need your affirmation to confirm my stance
One day Ill be so independent that I wont need you to validate me
I wont need the cunning ways you hate on me
You pretend that you care but you lie to entrap me
Its disgusting
Your crocodile tears have caused your cold heart to grow rusty
I can hear you creaking from a mile away
Turn around tin man its time for other prey
Because now I know im standing on my own two feet
And the only reason you should be here is to have your lips on mycheeks
home
home is where the heart is
ive given you my heart
now please take me home
ive wandered and ive strayed
ie found dwellings houses and shelters
but ive yet to find home
my heart is with you
now please take me home
ive move and ive stayed
ive found shacks apartments and studios
but my heart is with you
and youve been here
now please take me home
ive enjoyed my time away
ive found friends enemies God and even myself
but part of me was missing
because with you is where im meant to be
iowa philly or third world
weve exchanged hearts
now lets go home
____________________
haiku
home’s where the heart is
I have given you my heart
Now please take me home
ive given you my heart
now please take me home
ive wandered and ive strayed
ie found dwellings houses and shelters
but ive yet to find home
my heart is with you
now please take me home
ive move and ive stayed
ive found shacks apartments and studios
but my heart is with you
and youve been here
now please take me home
ive enjoyed my time away
ive found friends enemies God and even myself
but part of me was missing
because with you is where im meant to be
iowa philly or third world
weve exchanged hearts
now lets go home
____________________
haiku
home’s where the heart is
I have given you my heart
Now please take me home
bc i went to uva take 1 and 2
they ask me why i walk this way
well because i went to uva
why i see rainbows in the snow
and runners in the rain
why correcting your speech is second nature
and mocking your turkey still hurts though we may have lost the game
why? ha ha my friend
thats because i went to uva
its my school
my rules
my orange and blue
whether decked in orange fever or in sundays best shoes
i may not be off on rugby but im proud to be a wahoo
and no matter how hard you front I can see in your eyes you wish you were one too
you may win the battle but the war is already ours
you’ll see in 10 years as your washing our cars
they ask me why my nose is in the air
or how i can see the stock market crash and continue without a care (Jesus)
i laugh and in response i say
My good fellow its because i went to uva
_________________________
they ask me why i walk this way
well because i went to uva
why i see rainbows in the snow
and runners in the rain
why correcting your speech is second nature
and mocking your turkey still hurts though we may have lost the game
why? ha ha my friend
thats because i went to uva
its my school
my rules
my orange and blue
whether decked in orange fever or in sundays best shoes
i may not be off on rugby but im proud to be a wahoo
I can see in your eyes you wish you were one too
you may win the battle but the war is already ours
you’ll see in 10 years as your washing our cars
they ask me why my nose is in the air
or how my swagger became so debonair
i laugh and in response i say
My good fellow its cause i went to uva
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